LOST AF

Location: La sala.

Time: 212:56 AM

MAAAAANNNNN.. I just crushed an Italian panini and I got J Cole banging through these headphones.. I’m ready. Even though I’m dolo writing on a laptop I really do feel like I’m talking to you guys when I make these posts. Speaking of headphones though, I ‘m a peasant and I don’t have Air pods. I’m not worthy enough to be part of such an elite group. There is a group that I know for a FACT that I fit perfectly in… and thats the group of “lost” ones. Those who don’t have it figured out.. who don’t have all the answers and the ones who finessed Chegg passwords to get through school. This very special group of young talented souls who are going day by day trying to figure this shit out.

There seems to be this expectation that young kids especially in their twenties, have to have most of their lives figured out. Especially if you are in school, my WHOLE last semester was nothing but people asking me what I am going to do with my life after I graduate. Having people around me CONSTANTLY asking things like “whats your plan for post grad” or “How many places have you applied to” was an every day thing. The thought of life after graduation was so exhausting considering the fact that I had NO idea what was going to happen and I NO job offers at all. I legit was stressing E V E R Y single night about my life and I was surrounded by a whole bunch of kids going through the same shit. I was also surrounded by people who actually did have things planned out and I could NOT help but to compare myself to them. Let me be the first to say… I play myself for doing that because it only made things worse. The chancleta of life comes by and says TOMMMMMMMMMMMMMA…I definitely got smacked by it.

I see it all the time around me… people get checked by reality daily. We get upset about things like not being financially stable, not having that perfect relationship, or not getting paid to binge watch a Netflix original while eating wings and petting your Frenchie named Lechugita. (OK that last one was personal and I might be the only person in the world who would name their dog after fresh produce). The reason why I’m writing about this is because I am in the prime “lost” phase. Of course I have a job, goals, and things I want to accomplish but I still feel this way because all of this is new. There isn’t a clear path to get me to that final place. But that is also the beauty of it and is why I’m trying really hard to not beat myself up about all of this. Every body has their own story so when you have to remember that before you compare yourself to someone else’s journey.

Just because someone else’s plan is going accordingly at the moment doesn’t mean it wont happen for you. Your cards of life were just dealt differently and your time just hasn’t come yet. What I do know though is that you have to just be grateful for what your life is and realize that it really can be worse. I HATE to throw clichés at you but they hold weight. Take a set back to think outside of your bubble and realize theres people out there who don’t have roofs over their heads. THAT alone will really make you appreciate your circumstances. After you do that you have to go outside and try some new shit and fail. Thats what I’m doing with these blogs and podcast...I’m out here just shooting my shot. If this fails well at least I tried and I will be taking all this as a big lesson that will benefit me later. Sit there and apply to 832478477 jobs, start that new passion project, get more in touch with yourself, WHATEVER it is just go and TRY to figure it out. Most importantly though..just R E L A X and realize that it will all play out. Its OKAY to not know EXACTLY what you are doing and even if you do…its OKAY that your plan isn’t working at the moment. Finally, just know that you are not alone… take me and this blog for example. I am just like you… going through the motions and taking all these experiences as lessons to get to that special place.

I know this post was extra long but I really wanted to stress that if you feel this way you are not going through this alone..

If you made it this far I really love you and just know you are helping me make sure my plan goes through…so thank you.

LOVE-

DAAZED